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I have about the least visual brain on the planet, and I can never remember what way you turn things to screw them, and what way to unscrew. Years and years ago, I was a very young singer/guitarist in a cabaret club in Germany. I was on stage, on my own, and trying to adjust a microphone; I managed to loosen the screw to get it to the right height, but then couldn't remember what way to turn it to screw it tight again. I ended up unscrewing the thing completely, and it all came to pieces and fell on the floor with a crash. I had to stand there like a lemon and wait for a guy to climb down out of the lighting control booth at the back of the venue, run through the audience, and put it all back together again for me.

Not a good way to start your set! At least now I could make jokes about it and turn it into a comedy routine, but then the only German I knew was Yes, No, Please, Thank You, Beer and I Love You, none of which seemed to fit! Guess I should stick to singing!

My main instrument is my voice, but after that I guess it's piano, although I've never been particularly attached to any one piano. (If I ever win the lottery I'll buy a BIG concert grand Bosendorfer!) I've played various instruments over the years - keyboards, guitar, bass guitar, bowed psaltery, shruti box, double bass - but the only instrument I've ever been really attached to is my old hand-made baby Martin. It's an 0-18, and was made round about 1955. I accompanied myself on it for years, and, though I don't play it much nowadays, I could never sell it.